Obviously I’m being facetious. Smash a plate and it usually has to go into the bin. The cracks that exist may end up cutting the user while eating, no matter how much we try to sand over the cracks. It still befuddles me how some can argue that cheating improves a relationship.
Some say that the cheater has a deeper appreciation for their partner because the partner has chosen to sacrifice so much for them. Sounds warm and fuzzy, but there are a few logical gaps here. First, if the cheater was willing to betray the partner, their appreciation was probably not that high in the first place. Increasing something from a low value isn’t much of a win. Turning a flat tyre into a slightly less flat tyre isn’t exactly a win, is it?
Second, this is coming from the perspective of the cheater, who has a track record of appearing loving while being absolute scum. To take their word for this borders on naivety. They told you before they loved you deeply and exclusively while messing around with the affair partner. Today, they tell you that they are so sorry fort he affair and realise how much they really love you. Can you really be sure that they still aren’t being intimate with the affair partner on the side?
If there is to be any strengthening, the cheater has to show, without any hesitation, complete remorse for their actions. Remorse comes in the form of being willing to do whatever it takes to repair the trust they have broken, which I cover in a separate post. Reconciliation should never be taken as a given, or as a logical progression that comes from cheating.
Don’t mistake a silver lining for a silver mine. Maybe for some couples, it really works out. Maybe for others, it’s a way to encourage them along in this reconciliation journey. Just because it’s healthy to take a mentality to cope doesn’t make it desirable in anyway. You should not thank your cheater for acting in a selfish way, you should castigate and then dump. You can resort to coping mechanisms, but make sure these are not distorting your decision making. It is vital that you do not see the betrayal of someone else towards you as a positive favour, no matter how they try to gaslight you into thinking so.